imperfection is beauty

Pamela Andersen and Marilyn Monroe are both defined as being physically attractive. But there are different kinds of "attractive"..Monroe is the classy "girl next door" beautiful and Andersen is that tough trashy attractive. Andersen I think comes off that way because of how big her physical assets are and how much make-up she uses and the way she presents herself. Monroe is the type of girl that you would like to take home to your mother.

As a society, I don't think that we truely understand what beauty is. What defines a women as beautiful. We are so obsessed with the physical aspect of beauty, but it's much more than that. Beauty is outer AND inner appearance. But thanks to the media, being truely beautiful without make up or cosmetic surgery has become a nearly impossible task. What we need to all understand as a society is that our imperfections, our differences are what makes us all different. What makes us beautiful.

We need to stop judging ourselves and look in the mirror and realize what it is that makes us beautiful.

Who am I

I've been thinking of the time when to me I was actually happy! The time when certain stuff didn't make me mad. I've been looking in the mirror lately thinking where is that girl? And what have you done with her. The time where I could actually be me without making someone mad. And when I could get my nails, hair, and waxing done and out of the way, without pulling an arm and a leg.Lets face it I like to feel pretty. I've been feeling bitter and unhappy for a while now and I really honestly sick of it. I would like to be happy again. I would like to be me without hiding my true self because it makes people mad or offended. I used to smile! Why cant I now?

I just don't feel like me! I feel gross, I don't even attempt to put on makeup anymore because why bother? It could be because the women that lives 5 feet away from me gets everything that she wants without having to beg! Shoes, Makeup, Jewelry, nails, pedicures, $200 gift cards for massages, purses, trips to ireland. While I sit here and feel like a hobo. I feel like I deserve something, I work My butt off for nothing and it really makes me mad. But if I say anything Im the bad guy. I don't like feeling downgraded, maintaining myself is important to me!

do unto others as they do unto you

I am a person that does things for others and hardly ever expect anything in return. But when I really need something Like a second job, my drivers license, or even want to go to school. Because I'm such a burden on people. Anything that could eventually make me happy is down the drain. Oh well I'll just sit back and not have anything. I wish people would stop asking me for help if all I'm gonna get is shunned for needing something. I also realized tonight to not look forward to anything because most of the time your dreams and wants are just going to shut you down! Like I want to have a good birthday... I never really have a good one anyways so why be hopeful, I want a puppy something I can have that's mine and isn't ever gonna turn its back on me, I want to go to school to have a future, I want my license so I don't have to worry day to day about getting to work, I want a good man In my life so I can feel loved. WHY!!!! cant I just be happy?!?!? I would like to get through one hole day with a smile on my face! I give up!

She needs a prayer!

My best friend of 7 years just found out today that if she doesn't have her period by Thursday that there could be a baby stuck in her tubes.This is called a ectopic pregnancy. If that is so, then she has to abort it or shes gonna die. Shes really scared right now and I couldn't help but tell her Lindsey everything's gonna be okay! I can't help but cry at the moment, because shes like my sister shes closer to me than anything. I'm scared for her. Please pray for her she needs it. I told her I would be in town Thursday or as soon as possible so I can help her through it because gods knows that shes helped me through a lot. I feel for her, she and her husband Avron want a baby so bad and ready to move forward with there lives building a family and owning a house and such. This bad news is really breaking her heart.

There is no use crying over spilled milk!!!

Have you ever been so irritated one day that you just don't want to talk to anyone and even if they try to be nice it doesn't fix anything or make your mood any better? There's so many things that are bothering me right now its not even funny! First one is, I'M NOT FIVE SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE I'AM!!!!!!!!! I'm almost 20 Years old my 5 year old days were 15 years ago so STOP! I promise there's only two things to vent about. I'm trying to be less of a negative person but it's really hard to stay positive when everyone around you except for the other three people trying to stay positive to. Here's Number two, One day without YELLING , ARGUING , or being RUDE would be FANTASTIC. Its all getting so over rated and it makes my anxiety shoot through the roof! There is no use crying over spilled milk. I'm not mad at anyone, it's me wanting to vent like everyone else vents except I know my blog doesn't talk back or compare it's self to me. As I always say "smile and wave boys smile and wave". On the POSITIVE side I got my phone turned back on today. And I have about 2 important photo shoots coming up one I'm getting paid for and the other is for a baby present. I'm Really hoping my business cards come in soon so I can get my name out there. I'm in need of a serious update of my portfolio.

1 step forward 2 steps back

I finally have a job thank god, I never new I could miss work so much....but I did sadly. Starting to finally be happy once again then................. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA............. I guess I could just leave it at that because I really don't like talking about it. I just want to think happy thoughts and that I'm already ready for a vacation! ha ha Funny I just got back from one. Well kind of it was probably the worst one I've had in a long time. This summer has not been a good one. Lets just hope I can get one fun thing put into my new busy schedule. hA yea RIGHT SUMMERS OVER in what a week? NICE going Bridgette!

uh oh :)

He really makes me laugh, more than I have in a long time. My day is never boring when I talk to him !!!! I think I may be crushing on him at least its mutual....oh dear!

Update!!!!!!!!!! and new thoughts on life

Update-So I guess that its been a while since I last wrote my blog so I guess I should update it. Well since I last wrote I went to arizona, had a blast there and came back with two new tattoos. I know right probably a little much but hey 50 dollars altogether beats 70 dollars each! 4th of july was pretty awesome, hung out with my brothers and sister in laws for a day. Also got to see my best friend since like age 10. Got to meet some new people that made an empact on my life.







New thoughts- When I was in Arizona I had alot of time to just get away and think about everything thats been going on. I finally Came to the conclusion that Im sick of being so negative all the time and hearing negative thoughts all time that Im gonna start being more positive when it comes to situations. I finally am done with Mark coming in and out of my life that I feel like for first time in a long time I can do me. I feel like a breath of fresh air without him weighing me down. The mom situation is still the same nothing new that not totally sure is that will change and get better. But okay everything happens for a reason and Im ready for positive things to happen to me so I can move forward with MY LIFE!!!!

hmmm let me think!!

As everyone who knows me knows Im all about my zodiac sign and everything that goes along with it. So I know pretty much everything about my sign that at least applies to me as a virgo.I was reading this quote from a book last night.

"Virgo's positive qualities are (I analyze), clarity of thought, discrimination, courtesy, service to others, wears there hearts on their sleeves, magnetic, smart,loud,practicality and self-honesty. Expressed in their negative form they become criticism, crankiness, timidity, pessimism, inferiority and hair-splitting.(I had to add some in there because she forgot a few.)

...To Virgos, love means surrender of the self, a mystery they prefer not to solve. So they channel its energy into excellence in work... and although these men and women offer gentle devotion, love's true meaning still sleeps within the Virgo heart."

I already knew the first paragraph, were not a sign that people should really mess with when were mad it tends to bring out the worst in us. When she says " love means surrender of the self ". I keep wondering what kind of love she means is it love of family or friend? If she means it as the "love of your life" sort of thing then I would have to agree. As if she means us as virgos give love but for us to receive it is like pulling teeth. Like we have to surrender ourselves to someone before we can really feel loved. Until that happens I don't think we have to much of a problem being alone I rather like being alone. On the other hand giving out love and helping others, brings us great joy. It was just something that I had to let my mind go loose on because my zodiac sign is a subject I could never get tired of.

there comes a time

There come a time in life when you really have to start thinking about what really goes on around you. What you do day to day or how you spend it or who you spend it with. I can say theres very few people I trust, But I give out love and respect to even people who dont deserve it. oh well i guess. This person has no right to be in my life and I wish I could kindly ask them to leave it, because we've grown apart and it has become very apparent that they no longer wan't me in theirs either so I guess It would be time to move on. I know I've been pretty depressed lately well I guess for a while now and I just don't wanna be around anyone. Is it time for me to move again and try to start a new beginning I don't exactly know where I would go but I have a feeling in my heart, and my stomach/head. That tells me I need to move forward and I want to I just used to have a life and I feel as though it has been taken away from me ever since I lost my job and I seem to go down hill everyday... I need a serious moral boost but a lot of people don't help the situation. Im simply putting this in my blog not really caring that it gets read but because I can at the very least vent to my computer. I feel as though I have nothing and Im done feeling like nothing, not having any moral support really kills and puts a damper on my mood. I know now that I have really changed as a person and I need to get out and explore and change my life one way or another. So I can be proud of myself again! I know I have potential but when is the potential supposed to kick in without all the right tools?

song writing

I so this special guy in my life told me that he wanted to write a "cute little love song" with me and so I said well I guess if you want and this is what we have come up with so far:

I wrote this:

" He was walking down the street with a smile as pure as honey,

when I saw him I knew I would never be lonely,

He is worth more than any money,

even when it rains our days will still be sunny."

He wrote:

" through dark skies and crying eyes,

I'll see this through the end,

Only time will tell our tale to the world."

hes such a bad rhymer but its but its still cute haha just thought I would share. :)

my bucket list

well my aunt wrote her blog on her bucket list, and it got me thinking about my bucket list I mean Im sure that mine is all fairy tale like . But what can I say I like to see myself as a princess on occasion.. Okay maybe all the time.

Before I die I want to.

1. Sky surf (yes this includes jumping out of an air plane and surfing in the sky).

2. meet the man of my dreams

... more or less my knight in shining armor.

3. Go to Ireland and take a massive amount of pictures for my photography portfolio.

4. Get married in a meadow in a big princess ball gown.

5. Have my photography published in a top notch magazine.

6. Swim with the dolphins.

7. Go to a Pittsburgh Steelers Game and meet troy polamalu and touch his hair since its better then mine.

8. Go snorkeling In Australia

9. Have a life full of adventure and love.

10. Kiss underwater

11. watch a solar eclipse on the beach.

12.Die in my sleep. (and meet my maker at the pearly white gates)

2011 really???/

christmas thru new years was completely awesome!! Then here comes 2011 The only good news so far is THAT the STEELERS are going to super bowl yAY!!! BUT other then that Ive had so much bad luck. Lost my job..lost some of my friends, my phone isn't working, kitty got ran over its like hello!! Can this black cloud just move onto someone else please? IM planning on going to arizona in may for like a month or so.

I need my license thats the first reason and the second its just because I feel like I need some brother time. Theres a new guy in my life I hope he stays in it for a while. I feel some potential goin on there.